A Fearful 14 Miles

Don’t worry – the title of this post has nothing to do with anything unsafe happening to me on my run this morning, it just expresses my state of mind during and after my run. I woke up this morning to see the sun shining and the temperature hovering around 37-37 degrees. All signs pointed to me running my 14 miles outside. Thank goodness because the thought of running 14 miles on the treadmill seemed daunting.

I headed out around 9:00 a.m. – I woke up a bit late today. My trek to Central Park wasn’t even so bad – the streets are much clearer and the intersections only have a few big puddles here and there. I made it into Central Park and was thrilled to see the drive completely cleared and filled with runners!

Hooray – I hopped on the drive and began my run. And within a few minutes I noticed that my pace was slower than normal. I thought to myself: “This is fine. I’ve had 9 days off from running. I need to ease back into it and should be taking things slow.”

I’ll let you in on a secret ritual I have: I always tell myself that my speed and pace for every run don’t matter. That way, I feel less pressure and don’t get nerves before my runs. However, although I tell myself this – I always still try to push it a bit to reach my ideal times.

So I told myself the usual and then was very upset when I wasn’t running faster. The marathon is not so far away anymore and I my speed needs to be stronger. I know, I’m a big complainer, but this run just made me very nervous that I can’t actually reach my BQ goal. Anyway – here are my stats from the run:

Mile 1 – 9:31
Mile 2 – 8:33
Mile 3 – 8:56
Mile 4 – 9:13
Mile 5 – 8:59
Mile 6 – 8:37
Mile 7 – 8:48
Mile 8 – 9:03
Mile 9 – 9:11
Mile 10 – 9:09
Mile 11 – 9:05
Mile 12 – 9:06
Mile 13 – 9:10
Mile 14 – 9:55

Total mileage – 14.11 in 2:08:22.

I already know that people are going to tell me that looks like a great run. It didn’t feel like a great run. And if I look back at my recent runs, I’ve been hovering around 8:30-8:45 for most of my mile splits and was feeling great! This run was soo hard and I felt like I was really pushing it and still only hitting about 9 minute miles. I’m just getting nervous. :-/

Now that I’m feeling better, it’s time to start really sticking to my training plan and kicking it in high gear if I want to have ANY chance of qualifying for Boston.

Sorry for the long rant – I think I’m just trying to rationalize my bad run and pump myself up.

Anyway, here are my eats from Saturday:

I made a breakfast cookie yesterday that actually wasn’t that great. I was kind of just making up the ingredient amounts as I went and I should have stuck to the original recipe more closely.

Later in the afternoon I made myself a weird little sandwich – it had beans, grape tomatoes, a slice of cheddar cheese, baby spinach and salsa on an Arnold Thin. It was a little messy, but it hit the spot.

I was very happy when Hubby offered to make venison chili for dinner. I used up some leftover pasta and added it to the chili in prep for my Sunday morning run.

And finally, for dessert I had some walnuts with raisins.

So those were my eats yesterday. Kind of boring, but I never like to try anything too crazy the day before a run.

And I was seriously in bed by 11:00 p.m. last night and didn’t get out of bed until 7:45 a.m. this morning. That was a lot of sleep, but I think I needed it.

Here’s my question to you all – do you ever get nervous that you won’t be able to meet a goal you’ve set for yourself? How do you handle that fear?


11 responses to “A Fearful 14 Miles

  1. I think it’s the sickness thing. I ran a marathon today while recovering from being sick and at the beginning I felt like I was running about 8:10’s – holy crap, I was running 8:55’s! It just took so much EFFORT. But still, I have to hand it to you, for being sick and weak, that’s a pretty sweet 14 miler. Good job!

  2. you are doing a great job with your training schedule and you’re going to be fine! having a tough run just helps you to refocus and recharge. make sure to learn from it, but also to keep it in perspective, and then move on ahead 🙂

  3. Hmm… not every run is going to be your best and strongest. I would say those are great stats given the fact that you are just getting back into it after nine days off! Look at the run as training for your psyche… a lot of times that is what it boils down to in the end- not letting your head get in the way!

  4. Don’t worry about the run, it does look like a great run to me but if it wasn’t to you you were maybe just having an off day, it happens, you’ll probably be right back where you want to be in your next run!

    I get nervous for meeting goals all the time, I’ve not totally figured out how to cope with it yet!

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  7. If there’s time to improve before the race, I try not to worry and expect that more training will help me improve. If I’m very close to the race, I might change my expectations, but if you’ve been sick, then I wouldn’t worry about your pace on this run. You’ll probably speed up during a race – with all of the race excitement and a taper, too.

    I like your food pics on your blog!

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